Just some thoughts… a pep-talk.

March 18, 2009 at 10:52 am (Weight Loss Surgery, WLS, WLS Post-op update)
Tags: RNY, Roux-en-Y, weight loss, Weight Loss Surgery, WLS

Everything is going okay. I’m feeling fine. I just was sitting here updating my little signature thing that graphs my progress… you see it below… and I started thinking about the psychological stuff that comes along with this whole thing.

When you go through the pre-op process one requirement is that you have a psychological evaluation done. Note: if your surgeon does not require this then I would seriously consider finding a new surgeon. I can understand how easy it would be to develop issues… many of which are, honestly, not bad but they do develop. Here is an example of ones that are not bad… it is still technically psychological, but not something where radars go up and you are considered to be “abnormal” on any psychiatrists list of definitions….

Anticipation… We all have this. Every single person who has this surgery done feels the “anticipation” of seeing that scale drop one more pound. When it doesn’t move there is, no matter who you are… and even if you haven’t had this surgery done, this “small” twinge of feeling that creeps up and makes you feel defeated, even if only for a moment. It may seem like it will take forever to lose the weight… another psychological thought process… but the reality is those who have had this surgery are losing an astronomical amount of weight very quickly. The first 75% of weight loss, based on every 100 lbs… they say…. is to basically be considered a “gift” and due solely on having had this surgery done. What you lose in the first 6 months is more due to the surgery than anything else that you do. They say that anything after that is your work. Your habits that you develop (eating and exercise) during those months after the surgery extend over and help you to continue the weight loss.

But… and going back again to my original thought… as you step on that scale and you feel that twinge of defeat because you hadn’t lost a pound in a day… wipe it out of your mind. For me I just think about how thankful I am that I am seeing these changes with my overall health improve. Hey… the Type II Diabetes has gone in remission and will STAY that way as long as I maintain. That is exciting. I will admit, though, that I get the psychological feeling of “anticipation” (anticipation is a psychological feeling, by the way… doesn’t mean you are crazy… sometimes we do feel like we may be just because we feel “anticipation”) when I stand on that scale and I am close to being in that next weight group… i.e., going from 200 to the 190’s, from the 190’s to the 180’s, to the 180’s into the 170’s, and now the 170’s into the 160’s…. you get the picture. For every group of 10 I find myself wondering, if just for a split moment, “Wow! What will it be like? I haven’t seen that weight in a long time.” Then I think, “Duh! You know what it will be like. It will be like it is right now! You will be standing here next month again asking yourself this same stupid question. That is what it will be like.” LOL! :O)

Another thing is the feeling, which here again is a psychological thought process, that even though you have lost all that you have you still look the same as you did before. You know that you don’t look the same, but yet in this small part of your brain you haven’t yet wrapped your mind around it. This is when you need to listen. Listen and accept the compliments that others will give you. Listen and understand that you are mastering a feat. You are doing good. Even if all you lose in a week is a half-pound you have to know that YOU are doing good. It doesn’t mean that you are at a plateau if you are still losing a half-pound, or even if you haven’t lost anything for two – three weeks. When you look at yourself in the mirror think about what you have done and the reasons why you are doing this and know you are doing awesome!

You will have moments where it seems so surreal. You will find yourself stumped by the very fact that at some point in time very soon you will be 100 lbs, or more, smaller. For me, and this is being honest, I have moments where I think it is unimaginable that I could be (and will be) as small as I was in high school. That I will be as small as my two oldest girls’ are now. If you have children that are in high school and are at the weight that they should be for their height… makes this fun. My two oldest girls’ have decided that instead of throwing out clothes that they “just don’t like anymore” they are holding them back for me. They are doing this of their own volition and I just can’t stop thinking about how cute they are. To take and think of me in that way. They are excited about this too. To them it is a opportunity to… LOL… “dress mommy up”. Just don’t let it get out of hand, is my thought on that. I do not think that as adults we should necessarily “attempt” to dress like teenagers… but instead buy clothes, or wear clothes rather, in a manner that expresses who YOU are. The hardest thing, yes, about losing weight fast is we go through this period where we are losing so quickly that our wardrobe can’t keep up. Face it. If you are trying to find a job and you need one good interviewing outfit… go to Goodwill or borrow a suit. AFTER you get the job you can explain that you have had this surgery and that you may not always have the ability to wear a different suit to work every day. Simply put, people are more supportive than you may think and you should NEVER underestimate your accomplishments. You did the surgery (or even if you haven’t done the surgery and are losing weight with your own will), that is a HUGE decision. You are showing dedication, you are showing will power, you are showing that you can accomplish a very difficult goal, you are showing that you care about your health, you are showing that you care about others, you are showing that you are able to handle tough situations. That makes you very special.

So the next time you are in that mirror and you have these small psychological thoughts creep up on you… just smile and know that you are someone who is making a difference.

Sorry if this seems like I have rambled. To many of you this is not a big deal, but it is for those who need to know… and sometimes it is just easier if it comes straight from someone who is walking through it. If you aren’t going through this process but have a loved one who is… YOU are everything to them. Remember they are not trying to make themself better than you…. they are trying to make themself better FOR you. Have fun with your loved one as they are going through this process. If you don’t like to shop… start. Go with them shopping, or do some online window shopping. If you don’t like one outfit tell them it is because of how the outfit is made, not how they wear the outfit. Explore the fun in helping them pick out clothes that are NOT black in color. It is spring… find some cute little outfit that (gasp) has polk-a-dots and that even though they may not be able to wear it right now you know they will be able to wear soon. Hang up the outfit so it can be a focal tool. Kind of like that old Yoplait Yogurt commercial for the “itty-bitty-tinny-weeny yellow polk-a-dot bikini”… just don’t make it a bikini just yet…. we may be sensitive to bikini’s especially if we know that there is a great chance that we will have excess skin that will have to be removed. Guys… don’t wear tight Speedo’s! THAT is just a fashion NO-NO!  Unless you plan on becoming the next Chris Jericho…or better still ROCK…  stay away from the tighty Speedo’s!  Just know that your loved one is thinking about how they are wanting you to love them for who they are. Your opinions DO matter.

Okay… I’m done. Now for me to break down this topic into smaller paragraphs. Till next time…. I’m off. Feel free to leave me a comment. I’d love for others to also see valuable insight, or questions that you may have as well. It does matter. It does help. Not for me specifically but for those who stop in and are reading. You are never to think you are alone in your weight loss issues. You are never to think that you are alone as a loved one who is trying to be supportive of another one going through this. You’re NOT!

~Tammy~